Madara has apparently cloned himself. I do not believe that story for one minute about an alternate world having 'twins'. Uchiha do not have identical twins and there is no record of such a thing happening in our long clan history. Though it does worry me quite a bit that Madara has developed a method of cloning. I suppose eternal life has it's privileges.

I wonder what I shall do with mine?

I suppose I shall watch my various brothers grow. My sight has fully returned to me now, but I shall still play 'blind' just to keep Akatsuki on their toes.

How nice it is to no longer be sick.

Sorry, Sasuke. I was out ghosting it up and couldn't get around in time to congratulate you on making it another year older. I was thinking about you though.

How's your forehead? Any finger marks indented in it yet from my other personas? I'd come around to poke it myself, but my incorporeal fingers just wouldn't give the same results.

Are you well?

(( Itachi's back! So... what did I miss? :3))

I procrastinated on this and should've said it sooner and I'm sorry for that.

But I'll be on hiatus, or at least an extreme slowdown for the next month. I have real-life stuff that has to take priority, but I'll pop in now and then because a man still deserves some fun too.

I'll see you in December. Have fun without me until then!

If you really really need me, go ahead and drop me an IM, chances are I won't be very far from my computer. piperclasticflow.

It appears my loved ones somehow got it in their heads that rape is a perfectly acceptable tool in the art of war.

There is so much violence in my life as of late. My family, the organisation, and even my own body. My attempts to halt my illness have failed. I have only managed to slow it. I do not feel well even now, and the stress of travelling and fighting with my brothers (how odd it feels to even say such a thing, even after all this time) causes relapses.

Since one of my brothers has learned the truth (or something near it), my plan to anger him has also failed. He is not safe, nor does he hate me. I can only conclude that my ultimate mission has been a failure. This weighs heavily on my mind, as ultimately, the village...

I have begun to prepare the tools necessary to take my own life. The death I had wanted will not be granted and this disease won't give me much time. Hopefully, I can count on Kisame (if not him, then perhaps Leader-sama) to torch my corpse after I am gone.

My only hope is that Sasuke will live long and happy. He seems to have his other brothers and Naruto-kun to look after him. He will be fine.

As for Madara.... I don't know how to end it gracefully.

I will be ditching Hidan today and joining back up with Kisame.

Leader-sama, I apologise for my insubordination, but you will have to accept it this time if you want Hidan to remain intact.

Upon realising that it was Kakashi's birthday, Itachi has sent the following item to Konoha, with a note:

A plush ducktoy, stuffed with exploding tags that will explode upon squeezing. A note is tied around the neck that reads,


Dear Kakashi-san,

I heard it was your birthday, so I thought I'd get you a present as a reminder that you are not worthy.

Hate,

Itachi

I normally make an exception for killing, but since you're still alive and you are an Uchiha, I won't feel any guilt for it.

Uchiha Madara, it would do you well to remember our deal. Leave Sasuke and Konoha alone.

Or you're a dead man.

This time, I will not fail.

[Private to Akatsuki]

Sometimes this organisation gets to being one really big joke.

Sigh.

[/private]

Sasuke? How are you doing?

Kisame?

Have you returned?

Leader-sama, I can return to active duty as soon as possible.

However, due to my condition, I cannot be around any sort of dead bodies. Such as Hidan. In the interest of my continued good health, I would like a live partner.

Thank you.

-Itachi

Leader-sama,

I require another leave of absence from my duties due to my health.

Thank you.


((OOC: I'll be on hiatus. RL is getting insane. I'll stop in when I can, but I have a lot to do this week. x__x ))

For once, I'm actually looking forward to my mission.

My only request: Don't pair me with Hidan and give me free reign.

[Private to Akatsuki]

Whomever left the red-tipped cane in my room: Har har. Very funny. I will use it to beat you with.

[/Private]

That.....



was the most inelegant ritual of courtship I have ever encountered.

I will be moving in with Kisame--my proper partner--immediately.

Someone else can clean up that mess.

I am going to kill or otherwise maim the following people:

1. Hidan
2. Cream
3. Tobi
4. Leader-sama ....If I get around to it...
5. Kisame This is all your fault

I will accept bribes from the following people:

1. Leader-sama

Naruto-kun,

I am currently in position of something of value to you. I believe you might call it one of your "precious people".

Shall we arrange a trade?

-Itachi

Our charge is almost ready.

One more session should have her completely able and willing to take on the tasks of a sleeper agent in Konoha. Then, it will only be a matter of time before she serves her purpose and brings us the Kyuubi vessel.


In related matters, I will need some laundering of my sheets, pillows and pillowcases. Or new ones, if the budget allows.

My partner can take care of it.

I can't believe I got stuck with this job.

It's boring, tedious and she keeps propositioning me.

I do not care for such annoying assignments.


Leader-sama, perhaps Hidan is more suited to this task?

.........

Hn.

I am a patient man, but even I have moments where I reach my limit with the amount of annoyance I can take.

This is one of those times.

I am frustrated by lack of results of the organisation.